3.14.2026

We start off by bathing. Water stays clear and clean. Lux looks handsome with no special vision (FORESHADOWING). + 2 charisma bonus  We have some eggs. Cooks talks about frying pan taking a beating.

We start heading east in search of the Arch Litch. We find some dead bodies. “An army moves on its stomach but also information” – Jartha. We search the bodies, nothing of significance.

We continue to roll east. We amble upon a small graveyard, and a mausoleum. The graveyard is unkept, but the mausoleum (moz for brevity) looks tended to. There are some etchings depicting battles, knights/beasts fighting. Kex thinks 400-500 years old.

The moz has a great door. We look into the moz, we see two mummified corpses and maybe more further inside. Jartha tries to pick the lock. Fails. Lux tries, breaks the lock. Jartha kicks the door open.

(Jartha using the advanced “kick the door towards me” technique  -KC)

We’re in the moz. Four mummified corpses. One has a sword, one has a staff. One has a mace, and one has a bow. There’s a depiction of knighting etched in the wall. No other doors or anything.

Kex does speak with the dead. Kex peels away some of the mummy tape with a dagger to enable clearer speaking.

Questions for dead wizard

Who are the mummies/you all buried here?

My name is Kaleon, the other plots were empty when I was buried. Likely Silvara, Thrane, and Caldus.

Why are they here/what is the significance of this burial site?

This site marks the entrance to my master’s lair

Who is your master?

My lord is a powerful warrior of the undead

SMOKE BREAK (we huddle on which questions to ask next)

How do we get into your master’s lair?

You must perform a knighting and it will be revealed.

We talk about knighting Jartha.

Where do we perform the knighting?

On top of the sacred door.

We look for a door. We see a gravestone name – HEATHER.

Jartha goes back and checks out the sword, staff, bow, mace.

Kex attempts to knight Jartha atop the Heather grave! Serabia is the featured sword. Kex asks if Serabia has knighted anyone. Serabia has and instructs Kexly to do the thing with the two shoulders and add in the customs of the Bullywog.

Kexyl:

“by the kingdom of the Bullywogs of the SothMarsh, I the Prince deem you a Knight of the SothMarsh, and a defender of Bullywogs everywhere”.

(Kex using what must be the bullwug tradition of stabbing the knight-ee)

Lux and Cooky stand at respectfully at attention. Cooks quips “maybe this one won’t die in battle right afterwards”
(I laughed my fucking ass off re-reading that! -KC)

We hear a stone-upon-stone sound from the mausoleum.

Ser Jartha. Back slaps all around.

We talk about a celebratory meal or something. “I don’t bake” – Cooks.

Jartha peaks in, fully enters. He steps on a segment that begins to lower. He steps back and lets it descend. A stairway emerges. Kex brandishes his sun sword. We see down the stairs and a hallway. We go down, see a hallway and an open doorway. Kex is shining his sword into the hallway. Discussion around the Sword of Sharpness. (Ken/Aaron discuss clarifying details).

Something is very strange about the darkness. Three coffins, some large skulls. Kex checks out the skull – humanoid, very large. Think it’s a giant’s skull.

Jartha opens a sarcophagus (after a failed attempt on one of the other ones). Cooks bitching about his equipment again. There’s a skeleton/plate mail/knight.

The middle skeleton sits up, all the others emerge, initiative. Three skeleton knights! Jartha, unsure if his strike impacted a certain skeleton knight, asks did you take the damage? SK: you are puny! Jartha momentarily thinks he’s a prince. SK’s are big hitters. Jartha slits a magic skeleton’s throat! (with a 20, 97!)  We kill two, and Kex petrifies the last skeleton. Jartha topples it and it gets hit by lightning for saying “how you knight me now”.

(Jartha, using the lessons from Instructor Jones, throws his voice so that the skeleton appears to be saying it)

We discuss the feature film Bullywog Knights. We think the skeltons were magical. Some Prince/Knight banter.

We start checking the coffins. The middle one has a sheet of white satin. The other one has a sheet of white cotton.

We head north, start exploring. We find a room with a pentagram and piles of bones at each point. Jartha kicks a piles of bones, sees robes associated with the bones.

We no longer hear the chanting. Jartha tosses bones in the pentagram for some reason. We hear noises to the south like someone running away. We go to the south room. A giant circle of summoning. Intense heat inside the room. A fire begins to grow in the center. Kex does tidal wave. Fire goes out and a diminished demon appears.

Demon says “you have diminished me”.

We fight.

We also discuss Knights in White Linen

We win the fight.

In the next room we see a cultist running away. We go into a room with a fading pool. Lux hits Mage in White Cotton with a lightning arrow. The pool starts draining. Kex does tidal wave. Knocks one of the mages into the pool that continues to drain. Mage screams in agony.

Jartha uses indomitable spirit. We keep fighting. COOKS DROPS HIS FRYING PAN INTO THE POOL OF POISON. Jartha shoves one of the mages into the pool. “That’s what you get for burning my friend”. We win the battle. Kex uses mage hand to try to get the pan. Only the wood handle survives. Cooks needs better steel. We hear scuffling and movement to the north.

We find a stack of papyrus with from the desk vario letterhead. Jartha can lift 550 pounds).

We chase another mage through an alchemy lab. We check out the lab. We find three vials of labeled acid. Polishing acid. Drinking Acid. Throwing acid.  We follow the guy to the next room.

The mage is like this is a private residence, man.  You will never defeat the master. We go on to learn that the Ashborn Cavalier Litch is COMMANDANT LASSARD/JARTHA’S DAD. Jartha was needed to further his father’s immortal life. Jartha “yeah, that makes sense. What are you doing man?” “Don’t hurt me”. The mage jumps into a fire and dies.

Kex then mage-hands the vessel holding the fire, pours the goop into one of the pools.

Jartha gives Cooky the adamantium cube. Lux looks through a book AND GOES BLIND AGAIN. Lux feels an increased bond with Fikus.

We go into the next room, giant sarcophagus with giant military head. We walk around to the west side of the sarcophagus room. Torture chamber. Bunch of fresh dead bodies in a cage.

Jartha goes to the front of the sarcophagus. Are you proud of me dad?

We hear a voice “No, you have failed me. And you are not my son”

“Face me or walk away, failure”

The usual thing about you wronged me.

Jartha tries to shoot the skull with the oath bow. 20!!!!!!!!!! IT EXPLODES!

We hear this voice “NOOOOOOO! You have destroyed my phylactery.”

Commandant Lassard appears!

Lux goes invisible.  Commandant Lassard casts power word kill. KEXYL IS FUCKING DEAD.

Cooks gets a few hits in, as does Jartha. Lux, who can be seen by the Litch, is power word frightened, Jartha is stunned. Lassard casts mending so that Jartha’s clothes look better. Then he roles a 1 so his sword is destroyed.

Lux takes out the Jaree feather and writes help on a piece of paper. The feather disintegrates.

(Lux’s invisibility spell apparently also skews perspective and known physical forms!)

A PORTAL APPEARS. It’s NEVES. (turn speakers down)

Neves says I see you have learned much while I was away. I cannot fight this beast but I can help you. HE RESURRECTS KEXYL.

Then Lassard paralyzes Neves.

Blind Man Lux kills the Commandant!!!!

As he’s dying, he says “Jartha”. Jartha spits in face.

Jartha says thanks for helping me kill my dad.

He is wearing heather armor, plate armor but dress uniform. Jartha takes it. And the Heather family hilt. He switches out the armor.

Need to do Commandant Lassard hilt and armor details next episode.

Resurrected Kex has a white tiger now, not an orange tiger. Lost some armor. Basically both Neves and Kexyl are reborn, similar to Gandalf the White.

Lux taps his ring, turning off the invisibility, and tells Neves of his blindness.

Neves says he has many things to tell us.